Couple Minutes For Me

After spending time with Leo at least once a day every day for almost a year, it is difficult to deal with having only about 10 minutes a day on the phone with him. At least over the summer, I was able to talk to him for about half an hour while he drove home from work. Nowadays, I have to settle with only a couple minutes on the phone because that's all he can afford me due to his incredibly busy hectic schedule of classes and constantly shopping for his metrosexual apartment. I'm his girlfriend, the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with, the person who he wants to be the mother of his children ... but all I get is a couple minutes a day? Do I have a right to be pissed, or am I simply being a bratty bitchy needy girlfriend?

AyyaXXX: she gives off a sort of S&M vibe to me
I needed a good laugh. Thank you, Laurel.

Home Is Where The Heart Is

I called Leo after dinner, and he was beginning to head into the Opening Year Picnic held on DeBartolo Quad. University of Notre Dame always ends the first day of classes with a campus-wide picnic outside of DeBartolo Hall, complete with barbeque, ice cream, live bands, and culminating in a fireworks display. I always loved the fireworks. Hearing about everything happening at Notre Dame makes me incredibly homesick. Yes, homesick ... because home is where the heart is, and my heart will forever stay at Notre Dame. It will stay at the Grotto, it will stay at Touchdown Jesus, it will stay at the stadium, it will stay at McGlinn Hall. It will stay with the drunken nights at the Linebacker, it will stay with dinners at South Dining Hall, it will stay with AAA meetings, it will stay with late nights studying at Lafortune. It will stay with the memories.

Although I wish with all my heart that I was going out to Notre Dame for the weekend, my books cost much more than I had anticipated. I will write more about my first week at the University of Toledo during the weekend when I have more free time from classes and studying. Yet as a quick note, I cannot help but compare everything at the University of Toledo with the University of Notre Dame. And unfortunately, everything about Notre Dame seems much better. It's been extremely difficult for me to move on with my new life at Toledo because it literally hurts to miss Notre Dame and all my friends incredibly much. Though what I miss the most is Leo, and I wish with all my heart that we could be together. Love Thee Notre Dame!

Currently Obsessed With Rent

one blaze of glory
one blaze of glory -- glory
find glory
in a song that rings true
truth like a blazing fire
an eternal flame
find one song
a song about love
glory
from the soul of a young man
a young man

they say i have the best ass below 14th street
do you go to the cat scratch club?
would you light my candle?
we could light the candle
oh won't you light the candle?

what happened to benny
what happened to his heart
and the ideals he once pursued?

what's the time?
well it's gotta be close to midnight
my body's talking to me
it says, "time for danger"
it says "i wanna commit a crime
wanna be the cause of a fight
wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt
with a stranger"

the heart may freeze or it can burn
the pain will ease if i can learn
there is no future, there is no past
i live this moment as my last
there's only us, there's only this
forget regret or life is yours to miss
no other road
no other way
no day but today

live in my house, i'll be your shelter
ust pay me back with one thousand kisses
be my lover -- i'll cover you
open your door, i'll be your tenant
don't got much baggage to lay at your feet
but sweet kisses i've got to spare
i'll be there and i'll cover you
i think they meant it when they said you can't buy love
now i know you can rent it
a new lease you are my love on life -- be my life
just slip me on, i'll be your blanket
wherever -- whatever -- i'll be your coat
you'll be my king and i'll be your castle
no you'll be my queen and i'll be your moat

i should tell you, i should tell you
trusting desire, starting to learn
walking through fire without a burn
clinging -- a shoulder, a leap begins
stinging and older, asleep on pins
so here we go

every single day i walk down the street
i hear people say,"baby's so sweet"
ever since puberty everybody stares at me
boys, girls .... i can't can't help it baby
so be kind, don't lose your mind
just remember that i'm your baby

maybe you'll see why when you stop escaping your pain

you don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees
you don't want to watch me die
i just came to say
goodbye, love
goodbye, love
came to say goodbye, love, goodbye

your eyes as we said our goodbyes
can't get them out of my mind
and i find i can't hide from your eyes
the ones that took me by surprise
the night you came into my life
where there's moonlight i see your eyes
how'd i let you slip away
when i'm longing so to hold you
now i'd die for one more day
cause there's something i should have told you
yes there's something i should have told you
when i looked into your eyes
why does distance make us wise?
you were the song all along
and before this song dies
i should tell you i should tell you
i have always loved you
you can see it in my eyes

five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred

New Beginnings

In contemplating that my transition from a undergraduate college student at the University of Notre Dame into a pharmacy graduate student at the University of Toledo constitutes that I am officially an "adult," I have decided to discontinue my Xanga and begin a blog. Although Xanga was used as a journal of my time under the Golden Dome, I feel that it is time for me to stop clinging to my past and begin a new chapter within my life. Perhaps I learned from Vinh that I must sever ties if I wish to place the past behind myself and move on. Hopefully I will be able to use the blog to record my experiences, write down my thoughts and feelings, remember all the good times, reminisce about the past, vent out all my sorrows and frustrations, or simply a place to think things through. Because I have never managed to stay in touch with friends well - either from home, from school, from camps, from conferences, or from random situations - I hope that the blog will be an opportunity for people to stay in touch with me and up to date with my life.

And thus begins my gradual transition into becoming a mature, settled adult with responsibilities and obligations ... or is it?