No Happily Ever After For the Prince

Once upon a time, I became friends with a certain guy. As time progressed, we became closer friends until we realized that our relationship extended to the next level. Circumstances prevented us from being together, yet our relationship grew more serious. Realizing that he was in love with me, he asked for a more serious commitment from me to our relationship. Yet young and having not explored the world enough, I kept myself at a distance from such a commitment. Understanding my apprehension yet hoping for the best, he entrusted me with a piece of jewelry that symbolized his feelings about our relationship ... something for me to hold onto and to serve as a reminder of us.

He has always been a rock for me to lean upon and supportive of my choices and decisions, even to go so far as encouraging me in other relationships. He has been extremely successful in his career and his life, accomplishing things that have made me incredibly proud of him. And all throughout, he always made his feeling about me blatantly clear - he loved me. Yet I grew emotionally distant as I developed another relationship that soon grew to be more important in my life than my relationship with him - my relationship with Leo. He never changed, and stood unwavering by his love for me. It was I who changed.

I finally made the decision to hand that piece of jewelry back to him during the past summer. I know that he has the ability to make all the dreams that I thought I've ever wanted come true. Yet I've realized with Leo that my dreams have changed, and that my former dreams are no longer what I truly want. Although he has and will always be my prince on a white horse who still holds a piece of my heart, there will never be a happily ever after for me and him.

It's killing me, it's killing you
Both of us tryin' to be strong
I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
And someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
He's been good to me
And he deserves better than that

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you

All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know
'Cause there can be no happy ending

butterflies

Paris By Night 83 ... 9/21/06 Release

Three Years

We've always been like sister and brother,
Until tonight when we looked at each other.
That was the end of a beautiful friendship,
And just the beginning of love.

~Nat King Cole “A Beautiful Friendship”

9/20/03 - 9/20/06 LHN & LC

No J^2

1/2 of J^2 ... aka Julie ... is no longer coming out for the Notre Dame versus Michigan game. And that makes me extremely sad because I miss my McGlinn girls oh so muchos. :(

Forever McGlinn Shamrocks: Julie, Jackie, Lisa, Kristen

Countdown

Three Days Until ...

• Golden Dome
• Tender White Popcorn and Fudge Brownies … aka Zach and Leo
• Scrubs
• Quality Food
• Spring Rolls
• Drummer's Circle at Midnight
• Lighting candles at The Grotto
• Arkies
• Spending time with ½ J^2 … aka Julie
• Corporate tailgate with Sarah's family
• Notre Dame Football versus Michigan
• Legends of Notre Dame
• Dancing at the 'Backer
• Drunken partying
• Notre Dame Apartments luxurious accommodations
• Falling asleep with someone in my bed
• Waking up with sunshine in my face
• and of course, Leo!

I feel home when I see the faces that remember my own

Notre Dame 41 vs Penn State 17

Coming from Pennsylvania and having lived in Nittany Lion territory my entire life, I have been looking forward to the Notre Dame versus Penn State match up for four years since the day that I started school at Notre Dame. To all the Penn State fans that have always been Notre Dame haters ... sticking out my tongue. Real mature, yes I know. Perhaps the Penn State fans will finally shut their mouths about how wonderful Penn State and Joe Paterno are. And the only reason that Penn State's score is as high as 17 is because we put in our second string for the fourth quarter. It was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL game for Notre Dame! Seriously, there is no other word to describe how the game went except "beautiful." Our players were looking sharp, and it was the confident team that I have been used to. Looked exactly how National Championship contenders should look!

As a side note, I would like to add that I HEART Tom Zbikowski #9! If Leo is allowed to be obsessed with Jeff Samardzija, it is only fair that I should be allowed to oogle Tommy Z.

VSA at Toledo ... ?

After attending my second Vietnamese Student Association meeting at Toledo, my thoughts are: I MISS ALL MY ASIANS AT NOTRE DAME! Perhaps posting my entry will make me sound like an snobby brat. Yet after all my leadership and involvement with the Asian American Association, Vietnamese Student Association and all of the cultural organizations, I feel that I have a more experienced perspective. The meeting was not run effectively at all, and the club seems to be unstable. Granted, it is a young club that was started only in 2004. At the picnic that they are planning in two weeks, how can they not be serving any Vietnamese food? HELLO?!?! I have been craving delicious authentic Vietnamese food ever since I've gotten to Toledo, and my mouth was watering while checking people's away messages because Huyen was cooking pho tonight for VSAND. Seriously, EVERYONE involved is a pharmacy major. More than half of the students cannot speak English well. A Vietnamese guy in one of my classes told me to stay away from VSA because it was "FOBish," but I tried to disregard that because that is what people used to say about VSA at Notre Dame (which was OBVIOUSLY not the case ... !) Oh well, perhaps I can come in and change things. To end, Love Thee Notre Dame!

Miss Talking To Ya

I had a number of people that I talked to the past couple of years either in person or online almost every single day, or at least on a pretty regular basis. Everyone has matured and moved on with their lives, extremely busy and preoccupied with their careers or their further education or simply have decided to become anti-social. And I no longer speak to them as much as I would like, forced to settle with short conversations penciled in between their hectic schedule in a weak attempt to stay in touch. Sad, but that is life. If you were one of those people, I miss talking to you because you made me laugh, smile, giggle, smirk, cry, frown. And know that I am thinking about you. :)